


You Can Find Me in The Time That I Loved You

by the_butler



Series: Prompts [24]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Cheating, F/M, M/M, Sad, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24482797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_butler/pseuds/the_butler
Summary: Steve and Bucky breakup.Short one shot, prompt is the title.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers
Series: Prompts [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1349839
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	You Can Find Me in The Time That I Loved You

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno, felt sad so wrote something sad?

Breakups are never an easy thing. Oh how he knew this to be true. But they’d been coasting for the last year, and drifting apart for the last few months. And then Sharon entered the picture, and it was as if he was alive again- falling in love was so easy with her, she was so eager to get his attention. Workplace banter turned flirty, texts turned longer, phone calls taken in the middle of the night in the privacy of the bathroom when Bucky was dead tired from work and sleeping. He knew what he was doing was shitty, but he did it anyway, all for the feeling of being wanted again. And then small touches became a kiss, and the kiss became a series of kisses in stairwells and coffee shops in another town, and then the final straw was when they finally fell into bed together during a company retreat, and that was when Steve knew he could never return, never be the same man that Bucky had loved.

And so, he instigated the dreaded “we need to talk”. It took Bucky by surprise, and Steve’s heart broke into a tiny million pieces watching Bucky feel his own do the same. 

“What’s their name?”

“I don’t think we need to...”

“Who are they? Goddamn tell me.”

“Sharon.”

And then Bucky’s eyes, shining with unshed tears, shone with a terrible anger. “Sharon? Fucking Sharon from HR? The woman I already warned you about?”

“Bucky... I know it’s indefensible, but...”

“But you’ll still try to defend fucking Sharon behind my back?”

And Steve couldn’t find the words, because Bucky was right. So he hung his head in burning shame, knowing whatever he could say would never be enough. 

“How long?”

“About three months.” He answered in a whisper, cringing at his own words. He shut his eyes, not able to watch Bucky fall apart for another more second.

“Fucking look at me when you break my heart you asshole.”

But Steve couldn’t, a coward to the end, and they stood there in their tiny apartment kitchen, Steve staring at the counter top as Bucky openly wept before him. Silence filled the whole apartment, suffocating them both. Steve felt as if each breath was an eternity. But Bucky was stubborn, standing there with tears in his eyes and anger in his body, daring Steve to say another word.

“Bucky... you and I... we haven’t been... well we haven’t been the same since last year.”

“Excuse me?”

“And it’s been ages since we were last intimate...”

Betrayal and surprise mixed with the anger on Bucky’s face, as if he’d been physically slapped. 

“So that means you get to fuck goddamn Sharon from fucking HR?”

“No!”

“Then what, Steve?”

“I don’t know! I just... fuck, just being wanted again, Bucky, that’s all I wanted! But you were always too tired, too busy, too something else! I tried, jesus you know I tried! But you kept pushing me away!” The words burst out of him, but they rang hollow even as he said them. Nevertheless, they were out, hanging like a cloud, as he fisted at the hem of his shirt and watched Bucky bury his face in his hands and scrub it in agitation. Another round of suffocating silence, a set of recriminations left unsaid. Then Bucky spoke again.

“What do you want from me then, Steve. Tell me.” He said with voice barely above a whisper, but in the deafening silence between and around them he could very well have shouted. And this was the part that Steve truly dreaded, to say the words that would end them.

“I want to break up.”

“Because?”

“It’s unfair to you.”

“Bullshit!” Bucky exploded, “you didn’t think that before fucking Sharon from HR?”

“Bucky, please...” and his plea was met with a glare, daring him to say any more. The words in his mouth died in the face of Bucky’s righteous anger.

“You know what? You’re right. It is unfair. Fucking life is unfair. I didn’t ask to get into an accident. I didn’t ask to get depression. I didn’t ask to be cheated on while that happened. So fuck you, Steve Rogers. Life is fucking unfair.”

It stung, each word. Steve knew he deserved it. But he needed to do the right thing, even if it was too late.

“I loved you, Bucky. I truly did.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

It was Bucky’s turn to not meet his gaze, glaring at the floor and wiping his tears with the back of his hand. Steve hesitated, but moved forward, hands reaching out. Bucky moved back.

“You don’t get to do that.” Bucky said, meeting Steve’s eyes again. “You don’t get to play the hero here. Get out. Get your stuff and get out. You want a breakup? Fine. We’ve broken up. Now run back to her and pray to God this doesn’t happen to you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No. You don’t get even that.”

Without anything else to say, Steve left Bucky who had one hand on an arm and back to staring at the floor. Steve wanted to take back his words, but they’d already been said. So now all that’s left is to pack a suitcase of his clothes and leave. By the time he finished Bucky was on the couch, staring at the wall. 

“I know it’s not enough, but I really am sorry. If you ever need to talk some more, call me, please.”

It was as if Bucky didn’t hear him, and Steve hung his head again. Nothing left to do, he moved to leave for the door, but stopped when he heard Bucky speak as if to the wall.

“If you ever need to talk to me, you can find me in the time that I loved you.”

And then the vise around his heart turned tighter, and Steve finally felt tears escape his eyes. He blinked them away, and went out the door, walking out of their life for the last time.


End file.
